CleverSchmever

Wherein I babble about nonsense.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Blogs I would have written in the 90s…

10. Who would have thought a girl could write a Top 40 Hit Single about Dave Coulier? She went down on him in a movie theater, supposedly. What was she, like 16?

9. Wow, I’m going to put my kids through college with The Death of Superman and X-Men # 1 Variant Covers! And I’m only 13! Yes, even though these books had some of the highest print runs in comic book history and since everyone and their mother were saving these comics in plastic bags and boards, somehow, some way, they will be worth a gold mine!

8. How are these Nirvana guys more popular than Metallica? They play, like, 3 chords and they wear crappy clothes!

7. Oooh! A Brazilian steroid freak broke Batman’s back! What? Now a religious zealot is the new Batman? Screw comics!

6. So I started listening to a new style of music; Britpop. I don’t think Oasis or Blur can ever do anything bad…ever!

5. Whoa! AOL is the best thing ever! I can email a picture to my British cousins in a matter of hours! Outstanding!

4. Pulp Fiction just came out on Special Edition VHS. It has something called “Deleted Scenes) at the end of the tape. Who would want to watch those?

3. Tom Cruise married Nicole Kidman. Wow, he’s the smartest and straightest man in Hollywood!

2. I hear that George Lucas is finally making the Star Wars prequels. Everyone agrees that these are going to be the best movies ever!

1. That Nirvana guy committed suicide. It’s sad, but at least I won’t have to hear much about him anymore.

Monday, August 21, 2006

So this may be it...

In case the world ends tomorrow, I love you all!

However, if tomorrow is just another uneventful day, I say someone holds an Aversion of Armageddon Party! Dollar beers all around!

Who's with me?

xoxo

Ian!!!

Thursday, August 17, 2006

I find myself listening to more Abba than Iron Maiden these days. This disturbs me.

What is it about pop that’s so enticing and addicting? Is it a solid hook? Or perhaps it’s the soothing sound of the usually upbeat melodies? I don’t know; I just love the hell out of it.

What I do know is that for some unknown reason, my usual eclectic musical diet has slowly but surely become a bit lopsided towards pop. Instead of listening to some Iron Maiden or Public Enemy, I’m steering towards Vitesse and Abba.

I’m disturbed because pop usually makes me complacent. At this juncture in my life, I should be anything but. I have a part in a short film to bone up for, I’m working on a short with a friend of mine and I’m going to be shooting some sketches for another group of friends. This is not the time to be resting on my laurels. However, Belle & Sebastian seem to edge out Public Enemy every time I want to listen to music.

For the 3 of you still interested, I’m still working on my novella. It’s on the shelf for now, so I can concentrate on the work immediately in front of me.

Speaking of, that’s enough of this blog stuff, I have work to do!

xoxo

Ian!!!

PS-RIP Booster Gold. That Skeets did you dirty!

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

An Open Letter To Marvel Comics

Dear Sirs and Madams,

I’ve enjoyed your comic books immensely over the years. Spider-Man: The Death of Jean DeWolffe, Fantastic Four: Unthinkable and Grant Morrison’s New X-Men run are some of my favorite comic books of all time. Actually, I’m enjoying many of your current titles. I read about the delay of Civil War and many of its tie-ins. Sadly though, I will have to stop purchasing your comic books altogether and I hope retailers and my fellow readers will do the same, realizing how unprofessional and disrespectful this delay is.

You see, I’ve been thinking about my choices in entertainment and I realized that the comic book industry is the only place where a late product is considered acceptable. Films and novels are rarely pushed back after an announced deadline. Why? Professionals deliver a product in a timely fashion. Why should comic books be any different? In the world of magazines, if a freelancer delivers an article after its initial due date, there are consequences, regardless of the writer’s status. There are several good writers who want published articles on their resumes, and they’ll do it on time. So, why keep the writer who holds up the deadline when there’s an entire stable ready to perform the same task? Why are comic book professionals allowed to slide while freelancers and contract players in other media must adhere to a stricter standard?

Jack Kirby drew 2 comic books a month, a much more difficult feat than writing 1 comic book. I understand Mr. Millar is ill, I wish him a speedy recovery. However, this is not entirely his or Mr. McNiven’s fault. This failure and lack of professionalism extends to the editorial office. Time and again you have hype products that you cannot deliver and I can’t think of a single industry where that is allowed to stand. There are thousands of people who want to work in comics and many of them would produce quality work under a deadline. There have been too many late Marvel books in the past several years. Off the top of my head, House of M, Marvel Knights Ghost Rider, Astonishing X-Men, Iron Man, Amazing Spider-Man, Daredevil: Father, Daredevil: The Target Spider-Man and Black Cat: The Evil That Men Do, 1602, She Hulk, Powers and now Civil War and all its tie-ins all suffer from this affliction. While Marvel isn’t the only company shipping late books, it is the most frequent offender.

Now, please don’t cry “what about All Star Batman or Infinite Crisis”, as All Star Batman is not the lynchpin of DC and Infinite Crisis was 2, maybe 3 weeks late (admittedly, I’m not quite sure), not 2 months late as will be the case with Civil War # 5. DC’s error is inexcusable, but it’s not as outrageous as yours.

What baffles me more is that you will publicly chide and embarrass some creators (see Dan Slott) while you publicly apologize and cover up for others (see JMS). Perhaps if there were a consequence to your bottom line, you wouldn’t be as selective with your public brouhaha.

Advertising a monthly book to your readers and then backing out and offering a haphazardly scheduled book to us is insulting. Again, if your current stable of writers and artists can’t deliver, stop allowing them to insult your audience and hire people who will deliver. I’m sure you’ve met many of them at all the conventions you’ve attended this summer. By condoning this chronic lateness that seems to plague today’s comic book “professionals” you too are insulting your readership. If Rolling Stone is late, there are consequences. Consequently, when was the last time that magazine was late? It’s a periodical with more contributors than your own and it comes out on a more frequent basis. Meanwhile, you’re telling us it takes more than a month to put an issue of Amazing Spider-Man together? You’re insulting our intelligence.

I will not purchase anything published or produced by Marvel Comics until you have improved your track record, producing timely, quality entertainment and I urge my fellow readers to do the same. I would hope retailers would cut their Marvel orders accordingly, ordering more from either other mainstream publishers or independent publishers. Hopefully, you at Marvel will be able to rise to this challenge and make mine Marvel again.

Thank you and regards,

Ian Gonzales

http://cleverschmever.blogspot.com

Monday, August 14, 2006

While I'm writing something else...

Hey, look at me in the background! Then click the image and watch a sweet video.